Let There Be Light...

... in the existential darkness.

Apropos of… oh, nothing at all….

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I’ve been trying to write something about the election for a couple of days now, and all I’ve managed is incoherent rants and a critique of Steve Kornacki’s Election Night pants. I think I’ll stop trying now. Most of you know how I feel — I was a little vocal on social media about it. In case you don’t know, I am not a fan of the President-Elect. Or his running mate. Or anyone in his orbit. Or anyone who voted for him. [Side note: I have zero problem with losing friends over basic incompatibility of morals and priorities. Even if Cheeto Benito could single-handedly influence the cost of groceries, the fact that that takes priority for so many people over the safety and well-being of women, trans people, the environment, our overseas allies…. Ooops, there I go with the ranting. My (in)sincere apologies.]

I’ve been in a funk for a week now. Despite my inherent misanthropy and generally dim view of the world, I am usually a pretty upbeat person so this prolonged period of downheartedness has been rough. I decided yesterday to make a list of things that I was looking forward to. It helped. It helped to focus on little things — the small glass of ice water while the world burns. I can’t control that burning, but I can relieve my dry throat (dry from screaming into the void, of course) by sipping on the good. Every day, I am trying to find that little bit of good — something happy-making, or anticipation-worthy, or smile-inducing.

Last night, we won at pub trivia. The Wayne and I played with two friends, and our team name was inspired by an item on the specials menu. We were The Bone-In Cowboys, and every time our score was announced, we yelled “Yeehaw!” It was dumb, and it made me laugh. It had been over a week since we had hung out with anyone but our sad-sack selves, and the commiseration, laughter, and Total Trivia Domination made for a great night. Friends are good. Ten out of ten stars. Would recommend.

Since the election left me feeling hopeless and helpless, I finally acted on an intention I’ve had for a while. I can’t make the whole world a better place, but I can bring some hope and some help to those around me. I’ve signed up to volunteer with a local food pantry, registering clients and delivering food to those homebound. Many thanks to my friend Alice for the inspo. Again, friends are aces.

Other bits of light in my existential darkness:

• An upcoming trip out of town. A change of scenery is much needed!

• Some live performances on the calendar — Suffs on Broadway and a Louis Armstrong concert at Lincoln Center Jazz.

• Holiday reading. I am a sucker for holiday-themed cozy reads. Keep your eyes out for a list of my favorites coming soon…

Today’s little piece of good is maybe — finally —  posting something new here. If you’re reading this, I did it! Go me!